


all the useless things my hands have done

by saddestboner



Series: Tumblr Prompts [23]
Category: Baseball RPF
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Alternate Universe - Canon, Alternate Universe - No Girlfriends/No Wives, Casual Relationship, Consensual Infidelity, F/M, M/M, Mutual Break Up, Tumblr Prompt, Weddings, mention of family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-01
Updated: 2018-03-01
Packaged: 2019-03-25 14:15:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13836489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saddestboner/pseuds/saddestboner
Summary: There was a time in his life Alex thought this day was never gonna come.





	all the useless things my hands have done

**Author's Note:**

  * For [blastellanos](https://archiveofourown.org/users/blastellanos/gifts), [tobalance](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tobalance/gifts).



> Anon asked for: **jv/alex avila: alex watches justin get married.** Originally [posted](http://nullrefer.com/?https://saddestboner.tumblr.com/post/171410899616/jvalex-avila-alex-watches-justin-get-married) on tumblr. 
> 
> **Additional Author's Notes/Warnings:** The "no girlfriends/wives" tag refers to Alex's marriage being AU'd away. All referenced infidelity is consensual. There are mentions of Justin's ex-girlfriend.
> 
> Title from "Take This Longing," by Leonard Cohen.

There was a time in his life Alex thought this day was never gonna come. 

Justin used to talk about marrying Emily, his voice all hushed and serious. Alex’d had no reason not to believe him back then, him and Emily had been together for over a decade by the time they finally split up. 

But for how much he claimed Emily was The One and he was gonna wife her up someday, when he felt more secure about his career, it became more and more apparent—to Alex, at least—that Emily was never gonna get the ring she wanted. Justin loved her, he said, but he just couldn’t make that kind of commitment. 

“I told her maybe we oughta see other people,” Justin had said to Alex. “We could fuck around and then see where we were at in a few months.”

Emily had rightfully seen that for the bullshit it was and, in Justin’s words, had ‘bounced.’ 

“ ‘Don’t call me, don’t text me. I don’t want nothin’ to do with you.’ ” Justin had sounded offended, outraged, like he couldn’t believe a girl would ever deny herself the privilege of someday—possibly, maybe—wearing his ring on her finger.

But it wasn’t like he’d ever be faithful to a girl anyway. He’d never been able to keep it in his pants when he was with Emily. Alex should know. He used to blow Justin on the road when he got antsy enough before starts that he was practically crawling out of his skin.

Alex thought when Emily left that that was his chance.

And then Justin met Kate. 

At first, he figured it wouldn’t be any different than Emily. Justin would mess around on the road with different girls, and with Alex, and nothing would change. 

But Justin actually started _trying_  for Kate. He started wearing nicer, tailored designer shit. He started wearing his hair different, growing it out on top because Kate liked to run her fingers through it. 

Justin even shaved his goatee once because, according to Justin, he gave Kate beard burn between her thighs. It hadn’t lasted because Justin’s face was the kind of face that needed a beard, but still. He tried for her. 

Alex didn’t think it would last, though. Emily didn’t, and they’d been together since they were in high school. Kate would be gone in a year or two, and there’d be another girl on Justin’s arm. And Justin would still have Alex waiting in the wings.

***

Spring training, 2017. Alex was back after a miserable year with the Chicago White Sox that was best left forgotten. When he walked back into Tigers camp, White Sox logos stamped all over his gear, Justin loped over to him and slung an arm over his shoulders like Alex had never left.

“Gettin’ the band back together,” Justin said, grinning ear-to-ear.

Alex reached out and patted Justin on the chest. “Good to be back.” 

He wondered if he should ask Justin whether he and Kate were still together. He hadn’t kept up with the tabloid stuff, but he also didn’t want to look like he’d stopped caring once he left.

“My room after practice,” Justin said. “Got somethin’ I wanna talk to you about.”

“Yeah?” Alex tried not to sound too interested. He figured he could bring up Justin’s relationship status then.

“Yeah.” Justin tipped his cap at Alex and trotted away.

Alex watched his retreating back, thinking: the more things change, the more they stay the same.

***

Alex sat in the second row, sandwiched between Ian Kinsler and Justin Upton. Kinsler and Upton had brought their wives, Alex came alone. 

His invitation had said **Alex Avila and Guest** , but he hadn’t had anyone he could think of bringing, besides his ex. He hadn’t spoken to her since his stint with Chicago—the Cubs, not the White Sox—and he’d had a feeling she wouldn’t have accepted the invite anyway. 

So Alex came alone and tried not to stand out too conspicuously amongst their teammates and their wives. (He was pretty sure Justin noticed anyway.)

Organ music began playing and everyone turned in their seats. A little girl started down the aisle, strewing rose petals as she walked. Groomsmen and bridesmaids came out next, followed by the best man, Justin’s brother, and the matron of honor, Kate’s sister, both leading two drooling boxers on diamond-studded leashes.

Alex recognized one of the dogs, Riley. Justin and Emily had picked him out together, spring training of Alex’s rookie year. Emily had wanted him in the breakup but Justin wouldn’t give him up, and she ended up with their mansion in Virginia as a consolation prize.

(Justin had fed Alex the details of the breakup between blowjobs one night, in a hotel bed in Kansas City. Alex thought that Justin wanted him to be sympathetic so he just kept his mouth shut. It never felt entirely appropriate for him to offer commentary on Justin’s relationship with Emily, so he just didn’t.)

Justin came down the aisle next, slapping high fives and knocking fists with college buddies and former teammates and childhood friends. He got to Alex’s aisle and held his hand out to him, the corner of his mouth angled up.

Alex leaned across Kinsler, held his fist out and knocked it against Justin’s.

Justin gave him a slight nod, started back down the aisle.

***

Alex was in his hotel room, packing up for the return trip to Miami, when there was a knock on the door. 

He wasn’t expecting anyone, but he went and answered anyway.

Justin blustered in, dragging his tuxedo jacket behind him. His bowtie was unknotted and his belt was undone.

“What’s up?” Alex asked.

Justin let the jacket slide from his fingers. “Kins said you were heading back,” he slurred.

“Yeah,” Alex said. “It’s my weekend with the kids.”

“You should’ve brought them with you,” Justin said.

“Yeah, taking the kids out of the country definitely would’ve gone over well with the ex,” Alex quipped as he turned back to his luggage, which was sitting on the end of the bed. 

“I guess you have a point,” Justin said. “Anyways. I just wanted to come by to let you know… We can’t keep doin’ what we’ve been doin’.”

Alex stopped what he was doing and looked over at Justin. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, you and me. I’m done, man,” he said, shoving his hands deep in the pockets of his trousers. “I told Kate, no more messin’ around. And I meant it.”

Alex straightened up and folded his arms across his chest. “You’re serious,” he said.

Justin scuffed a sole over the nubby gray carpet. “Yeah. I love her, man.”

“You loved Emily too,” Alex pointed out. 

Justin sighed and swept a hand through his overlong hair. “Yeah but it’s different. I did love Emily but, to tell the truth of it, I fell _out_ of love with her years before we split. The breakup was a formality. But Kate, man. She’s everything to me. I can’t lose her.”

Alex looked down at the gray carpet under his feet. “So, I guess this’s it then?”

“You know it wouldn’t’ve worked out even if Kate wasn’t in the picture,” Justin said. “Me in Houston, you wherever. When’d we ever find time for each other? You remember what happened when you went to Chicago.”

Alex sighed and lifted his head, but didn’t meet Justin’s eyes. He flicked them up to the ceiling and sighed again. “Yeah, but I thought it might be different this time. I thought…”

Justin moved closer and put a hand out toward Alex, but didn’t touch him. Like he was trying to calm an animal or something. Alex bristled at the thought.

“You had to’ve known,” Justin said, his tone surprisingly gentle. Almost kind. 

Alex moved his arm away before Justin could even think of reaching out and touching him. “I dunno, Ver. I guess I thought you’d always be there.”

Justin shook his head and rubbed a hand over his face. “Look, I’m sorry, man. I wish it could’ve been different, but—”

“No, you don’t,” Alex cut him off, laughing wearily. “You’re happy with Kate. Don’t lie to me ’cause you think it’s what I want to hear. I’ll be fine. Don’t let a lie be the last thing you ever say to me.”

Justin sighed again, shoulders heaving. “All right,” he said. “I’m happy with Kate. And I hope we can still be friends after this. Can we?”

Alex shrugged, but didn’t answer. He didn’t have an answer for Justin right now. It was hard not to love Justin, but he liked to think he could do it. 

(Justin was the moon and all those who loved him were the tides, drawn helplessly to him. But sometimes satellites broke free of the pull of his gravity. Emily had, after all.)

“Eventually,” Alex said.

“Eventually,” Justin echoed. He nodded slowly. “I can work with that.”

He reached out—left hand, his new wedding ring glinting on his finger—and patted Alex on the forearm.

“I’ll see ya around, I’m sure,” Alex said.

“Yeah,” Justin said, slipping his hand away. “Have a safe flight.”

“Thanks, Justin.” Alex nodded at him.

Justin turned and let himself out of Alex’s hotel room.

Alex turned his attention back to his luggage and finished packing for the trip back to the States.

**Author's Note:**

> The author of this piece intends no insult, slander, or copyright infringement, and is not profiting from this work. This story is a complete work of fiction and does not necessarily reflect on the nature of the individuals featured. This is for entertainment purposes only. If you found this story while Googling your name or the names of your friends, hit the back button now.


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